Radioactive Man

Arnold Wolfcastle takes an “up und at dem” approach

[Zepp's note: This originally went out under the title, "Isotope Man" because I misremembered the names of the cartoon characters who were played by other cartoon characters as being, respectively, "Isotope Man" and "Radioactive Boy".  Fans of the Simpsons wasted no time in setting me straight as to the true identities of Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy.  Never mess with Simpsons' fans.  They'll eat you for breakfast! <g>]

by Bryan Zepp Jamieson
07/19/04
http://www.zeppscommentaries.com/Humor/wolfcastle.htm

If you’re familiar with the animated series, “The Simpsons” – and most of you are – then you know of an occasional character called Rainier Wolfcastle, who plays the cloddish and violent McBain, a detective who solves cases by hitting lots of people, and who also plays a dim superhero named Isotope Man.

Wolfcastle is an overmuscled Teutonic boor, not very bright and even less sensitive. As Radioactive Man his signature catchphrase, said to his juvenile partner, Fallout Boy, is “Up and Atom.” Rainier, however, keeps saying “Up und at dem,” oblivious to the pun. He also likes to sneer that politicians and liberals and anyone else he doesn’t like are “girly men.” 

It was generally understood that Rainier was based on some Hollywood celebrity or other, but nobody was quite sure who. It might have been Zsa Zsa Gabor. It might have been Ludwig von Drake. Maybe Arianna Huffington or James Dooley. Somebody, at any rate, with an accent. 

This brings us, for no particular reason, to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Arnie became governor of California based on a complete lack of a political record, and a willingness to say anything that would get him elected. Here is a man who accepted tens of millions in corporate donations so he could stand in front of crowds and rail about politicians who were in the pockets of special interests. He promised to balance the budget without hurting the needy or counties, and without raising taxes. In short, he followed the usual Republican campaign strategy of “Lie your head off, and remember, there’s no underestimating the stupidity of 40% of the voters.” 

The result is that the fiscal situation of California has utterly failed to improve, but the corporate media can’t whine about it much anymore. So the voters think things have improved. However, Arnie’s efforts to wipe out funding for counties, fire fighting, state employees (except screws, of course), cities, schools and even pre-school programs (his big social issue before he was elected!) were mostly shot down in flames, and his promised audits never occurred, with the result that the state is facing a $14 billion deficit even if he gets everything he wants.

The Democrats who control the state legislature have other ideas, of course, and since California is one of those unfortunate states that developed the mad notion that an annual budget should require a 2/3rds majority vote, for the 19th time in the past 20 years the state is deadlocked on budget negotiations, a recurring problem that in itself has cost the state billions. 

Arnie isn’t much on negotiations. Like most of his roles in the movies, he simply prefers to eliminate opposition, preferably with a memorable wisecrack or two. 

Since there are zoning laws about walking into the state legislature and opening fire with an Uzi, Arnie had to pick a more subtle approach. He decided to go to the districts from whence Democrats who opposed his budget came, and cajole and demand that the voters throw the rogues out of office.

This is Democracy, twenty-first century Republican style. Don’t negotiate or bargain or compromise, just eliminate the opposition. That way the trains will run on time. 

That’s the problem with being an Action Hero Governor; people expect results, and when all one can do to achieve those results is bluster, then one must do some pretty extreme blustering. Especially when seventeen days have gone by since the budget deadline, something Arnie said would not happen when he was governor. 

The results of this made the headline of the Sacramento Bee on the 18th. Gary Delsohn, the Bee reporter who was lucky enough to be on hand, wrote, “Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, using fiery campaign-style rhetoric and some of the Hollywood lines that made him famous, came to the Inland Empire on Saturday afternoon to bash and threaten Democrats he said were ‘obstructionists’ blocking the state budget and catering to special interests.” 

It was at this point that Schwartzie got mixed up, forgetting that he was Governor Schwarzenegger playing the Last Action Hero, and apparently thought he was now Dana Carvey making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

He referred to the Democrats in the legislature as “those girlie men up there in Sacramento.” 

It made for an arresting top front page headline in the Sunday Sacramento Bee, I have to admit: “Governor calls foes ‘girlie men.’

Aaaahhh! You know you’re in California when...

Even without the sexism and the gay-bashing overtones, it was an absolutely idiotic thing to say, especially since the Simpsons and Dana Carvey used the same phrase to portray Arnold as an arrogant clod. 

Now we have Schwarzenegger portraying himself as an arrogant clod.

He actually did it quite well. He had the posture and the accent and the voice down just about perfect. Harry Shearer would have approved. 

Not content to make a fool of himself once he went on to use the line again. The red-meat, right-wing Ontario crowd was deliriously happy that someone had come along who understood their beetle-browed, dim, incomprehending fear and anger of such things as freedom, democracy, and differing opinions.

The female members of the state legislature, who make up about 26% of the group, had to be wondering if “girlie men” applied to them, and if so, what portions of their anatomy, real or imagined, Arnold might try to grope in his sexual confusion. Members of the gay and lesbian communities in California might have wondered if Arnold was going to come looking for them after class, to grab their school books and toss them to the ground, and snarl, “Fight me like a man, you great big girlie man.” 

It came on the same day that Austria announced it was putting Arnie’s face on a postage stamp – hopefully not as a part of their “culture” series. 

And it came right on the heels of the Riordan flap, in which Arnold’s Education minister called an eight year old “a stupid, dirty little girl.” People had demanded that Arnold fire Riordan for that, and he had refused, winning him the new nickname of “Can’t Terminator.” 

(In fairness, I agree with Arnie on that one: Riordan has always been one of the most utterly decent men in politics. I don’t believe he meant what he said to sound the way it did, and he apologized to the little girl instantly. I would suggest, though, that if something like that happens again, a visit to a doctor is indicated.) 

In the meantime, Arnie just faced his first real challenge, and promptly imploded.

Maybe the problem is just that he is a great big girlie-man, and needs to get up und at dem.

You think?


http://www.nytimes.com/2004/07/19/national/19arnold.html


Schwarzenegger Calls Budget Opponents 'Girlie Men'
By JOHN M. BRODER

Published: July 19, 2004

OS ANGELES, July 18 - With his frustration mounting this weekend over his inability to muscle a budget through the Legislature, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger called his Democratic opponents "girlie men" and vowed to work to unseat them in November.

At an appearance on Saturday in Ontario, Calif., Mr. Schwarzenegger, a Republican, criticized the leaders of the Democratic-dominated Legislature, saying they were part of a political system that was "out of shape, that is out of date, that is out of touch and that is definitely out of control in Sacramento."

He said Democrats blocking his $103 billion proposal for the fiscal year that began July 1 were too weak to stand up to special interests like unions and trial lawyers who wanted changes in the budget.

"I call them girlie men," Mr. Schwarzenegger said of the Democrats, as hundreds of shoppers who had gathered to hear him speak roared their approval at the Ontario Mills megamall, about 40 miles east of Los Angeles. "They should get back to the table and they should finish the budget."

After a seven-month honeymoon in which the popular new governor won almost everything he wanted from the voters and their representatives, Mr. Schwarzenegger has crashed on the shoals of the notorious budgeting process in this state. He has become increasingly testy in recent days as negotiations have dragged on long past the June 30 constitutional deadline for enactment of a spending plan. Although it was the governor's decision to halt negotiations for the weekend, both sides said they were willing to return to the table on Monday.

Mr. Schwarzenegger has compared lawmakers to kindergartners who need a timeout and threatened to seek a constitutional amendment making the Legislature a part-time body. He is also appearing in the districts of vulnerable Democrats and promising to "terminate" those who stand in his way.

The "girlie men" remark was a play on a "Saturday Night Live" skit with the fictional bodybuilders Hans and Franz, who parodied Mr. Schwarzenegger's physique and accent, an aide to the governor said. But the comment resonated because of accusations that Mr. Schwarzenegger had repeatedly groped women during his Hollywood career and because of his occasionally demeaning remarks about women during his campaign for governor last fall, when his predecessor, Gray Davis, was recalled.

The target of some of those remarks, Arianna Huffington, the author and activist who ran against Mr. Schwarzenegger in that race, said in an interview on Sunday that the governor had a habit of resorting to verbal abuse when he did not get his way.

"What we've seen in Arnold is an alternation of the seducer and the bully," Ms. Huffington said. "Seduction worked for a while because he's a very charming man and the people were so relieved to be rid of Gray Davis and have someone entertaining in his place."

Ms. Huffington said the budget talks had tested the limits of Mr. Schwarzenegger's charm. "When the seduction doesn't work anymore, the bully comes out. The expression 'girlie man' is the bully speaking. It's not something you can imagine 99 percent of politicians saying."

Rob Stutzman, Mr. Schwarzenegger's spokesman, said the phrase was not intended to question the virility or sexual orientation of Democratic legislative leaders, who include some women. The governor was expressing his frustration with his opponents' refusal to pass his version of the budget, Mr. Stutzman said.

"It's his way of saying they're wimps, they're giving in to the special interests," he said.

"It's not just his frustration speaking," Mr. Stutzman added. "It's deliberate. It's tactical. The Democrats are acting in a partisan manner. If they continue to do so, he's going to take his case to the voters."

As for the assertion that the use of terms like "girlie men" is not customary in American political dialogue, Mr. Stutzman said, "There are a lot of things that are not normal in politics about this governor."

Fabian Nuñez, the Democratic speaker of the Assembly, said that when he first heard of the governor's comment, he was incredulous.

"Certainly my mom and my sister aren't happy," Mr. Nuñez said. "He lost a couple of votes there."

He said that he hoped that the governor's attitude did not further poison the atmosphere surrounding the budget negotiations, but that it would not affect his stance.

"The truth is I don't feel bullied by this guy," Mr. Nuñez said. "I don't have any insecurities about myself. I don't take that stuff personally."
-- 
"There are no longer torture chambers or rape rooms or mass graves 
in Iraq"
--George Bush, May 1st, 2003