A speech, SOTU speak

Putsch tries to act less cocky between smirks and winks

© Bryan Zepp Jamieson
01/31/06
http://www.zeppscommentaries.com/Politics/sotu2006.htm

The sixth year of a Presidency tends to be a time of doldrums. By year’s end, the last election cycle has passed, and the President is truly a lame duck. Presidents have pretty much run out of steam by then, and aren’t inclined to propose any bold new initiatives, or even fight very hard for the ones that are going on.

In other words, SOTU 2006 wasn’t going to be a very meaty speech. Not that the SOTU often is, but usually the President will lay out some sort of proposal; social security reform, end the war in Vietnam, some damn thing.

I thought about skipping it as a topic of an essay this year. A buddy called me up and asked if I wanted to attend a get together to watch the speech with a group of liberals and Democrats. I was tempted, but between the hisses and cat calls, and the fact that my hearing isn’t what it was 50 years ago, I wouldn’t have heard much of the speech. So I begged off, pausing to warn my buddy that if someone proposed knocking back a shot every time Putsch told a lie, to not do it. He would be under the table by half-way through the speech.

Hell, Putsch’s description of the situation in Iraq alone would have caused massive cases of alcohol poisoning.

Then too, getting home from downtown Mt. Shasta involves driving over ten miles of twisty, unlit mountain road, climbing 1,000 feet and then descending nearly the same amount. We were under a winter storm warning, and that road gets special in snowstorms at night. Therefore, I decided I would make a noble sacrifice for my readers and write an essay, rather than party down. See how noble I am? No, no, don’t applaud. Just send money....

The most interesting moment of the SOTU occurred just before Putsch swaggered into the chamber, and off-camera. Cindy Sheehan was there as the guest of a Congressman, and unfurled what was described as “an anti-war banner”. Of course, you can’t do things like that in Putsch’s Amerika, so the capitol cops grabbed her, hustled her out, and held her for an hour of questioning, just long enough for Putsch to finish is speech and run away. Can’t have Putsch lecturing the people of Iran that they should try freedom and democracy if you have some troublemaker actually practicing it in the halloween halls of Congress, right?

And yes, Putsch really did invite the Iranian people to embrace freedom and democracy. I guess he knows that a substantial portion of his audience are too dumb to know that Iran IS a democracy, and, like America, sometimes makes very poor choices. They were making some pretty good moves toward freedom, too, before Putsch came along and made Islamic radicalism chic again in the middle east.

Putsch brought similar acumen to the situation in Iraq, saying, “We're on the offensive in Iraq, with a clear plan for victory. First, we're helping Iraqis build an inclusive government, so that old resentments will be eased and the insurgency will be marginalized. Second, we're continuing reconstruction efforts and helping the Iraqi government to fight corruption and build a modern economy, so all Iraqis can experience the benefits of freedom. And third, we're striking terrorist targets while we train Iraqi forces that are increasingly capable of defeating the enemy.”

Yup, that’s what he said. With his bare face hanging out. I noticed the Joint Chiefs of Staff didn’t applaud that line.

I expected him to do a little strutting over the confirmation of Scam Scalito to the SC, but he restrained himself on that. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding any lines that might get him hissed. (Scalito hisself was with the rest of the Supremes, enrobed, and clearly dazzled by his surroundings. Hopefully the gravity of his new job will touch him and make him realize he can’t just be a hack for the Church or the GOP).

But Putsch didn’t manage to avoid getting bitch-slapped at least once. He was talking about keeping costs down, and mentioned that Congress had not taken up his social security proposal. This got him the most genuinely enthusiastic applause of the night from the Democrats and even a few Republicans. Putsch, who will never be a good poker player, was clearly nettled by the ironic accolade.

The most polarizing moments came when he explained that our cops were brave and deserved to have the PATRIOT ACT repassed, and moments later, when he said of illegal wiretaps, “It is said that prior to the attacks of Sept. 11 our government failed to connect the dots of the conspiracy. We now know that two of the hijackers in the United States placed telephone calls to Al Qaeda operatives overseas. But we did not know about their plans until it was too late. So to prevent another attack, based on authority given to me by the Constitution and by statute, I have authorized a terrorist-surveillance program to aggressively pursue the international communications of suspected Al Qaeda operatives and affiliates to and from America.”

What he forgot to mention was that they HAD intercepted calls among members of al Qaida, with warrants and quite legally, but because the Putsch administration had absolutely no interest in middle-eastern affairs, they hadn’t hired enough translators who could have listed to the calls, which detailed the strike planned for the next day. The overworked translators finally did get to those calls – on September 12th.

Putsch defended his tax cuts, noting “In the last five years, the tax relief you passed has left $880 billion in the hands of American workers, investors, small businesses and families.” What he forgot to mention was that it makes up nearly 10% of the present national debt, and will cost America at least $50 billion a year in interest – forever. And when he mentioned that over the past few years, the rebounding economy grew faster than those of Europe and Japan combined, their economies weren’t rebounding, and they also didn’t have a 2.4% population growth to factor in. When you factor in inflation and population growth, the American economy hasn’t grown at all.

Of course, when outfits like Exxon are running away with $36 billion a year, it’s pretty hard for the rest of America to stay on top of the bills.

Needless to say, Putsch didn’t think much of the idea of a windfall profits tax to return some of the oil companies’ gouging to the rightful owners.

Putsch did promise to push for scientific research and development, which probably means the Institute of Creation Research will get a government grant, and to fund research into alternative energy sources (particularly nuclear).

Unless it benefits the people who pull Putsch’s strings, don’t hold your breath.

It was a remarkably restrained speech, and the response, by SOTU standards, was tepid. Despite the victory of Scalia earlier in the day Republicans seems out of sorts, and not happy.

And Putsch? Well, he strutted and smirked, and doubtlessly went to bed thinking he read his lines real good this time.