Hindenberg Too

Radio Gasbag touches top of tower, explodes

by Bryan Zepp Jamieson

http://www.zeppscommentaries.com/VRWC/hindenbergII.htm

10/2/03

Bartcop, of course, was transported with ecstacy. The net wit, who started his career with an email periodical called "Rush Limbaugh, Lying Nazi Whore," gleefully predicted his already-busy site would get a record number of hits today. Chances are he did break his record, despite it being one of the longest issues he’s done in quite some time.

BC, of course, wasn’t alone. Liberals everywhere have hoped that someone would plant a creme pie in Radio Gasbag’s smug face, just as karmic response to all the demagoguery and attacks on the most powerless and downtrodden members of society by that sleek neo-fascist clown.

Limbaugh, in a cynical ploy by Disney/ABC/ESPN, had been hired as a "color commentator" for a football show on the sports network. Limbaugh knows little about football, but a lot of the droolers who listen religiously to his three hour daily rants on the radio are also football fanatics (funny how that works) and ESPN reasoned that a little of the Limbaugh sneers would boost the ratings. And in fact, it did, by 10%. Of course, that meant the market share went from minuscule all the way up to teeny-weeny, but that meant profits for Disney, and that was all that really mattered.

Except that Rush, a vulgar and nasty bigot, wasn’t about to limit himself to football strategy. So he claimed that one quarterback was overrated, and that the only reason the team kept him in was because he was black, and the liberal media was dying to have a successful black quarterback. Rush apparently never heard of Warren Moon. I know even less about football than Rush apparently did, and -I’ve- heard of Warren Moon. Brilliant quarterback, passed for something like 50 kilometers when he was with the Edmonton Eskimos or the Iqaluit Icicles or one of those CFL teams, and racked up a bunch more records playing for Houston in the NFL.

Just to compound the problem, he compared the guy to a white quarterback who Rush considered more deserving, and who in Rush’s estimation would be getting greater adulation if the other guy wasn’t black. Unfortunately for the Radio Gasbag, it turned out that the stats showed the black quarterback, over the past four seasons, was actually a better quarterback than the white guy, and that both were pretty damned good. Ooops.

Wesley Clark promptly demanded that ABC fire Limbaugh, which I thought was a pretty gutsy move. (Howard Dean did the same thing the following morning). The last politician to directly tangle with the Gasbag was Bill Clinton, and that was pretty much a stand-off. Neither did the other any real damage, and both cemented support in their respective followings as a result of the post-OKC bombing confrontation.

Limbaugh "resigned" the following day. ABC didn’t flat-out fire him, but they sure didn’t object that the guy they saw as their rainmaker for that show was leaving without notice.

Like most liberals, I got a pretty good chuckle out of that. But what was sublimely amusing was the way right wingers on the net responded. Needless to say, they showed the class and integrity for which they are renowned. Such phrases as "My only claim is, that it isn't racist to commentate about football players who happen to be black not being as good as some claim," tried to gloss over the fact that Rush specifically said the guy was, in his opinion, overrated because he was black.

Some other samples: "It was right to leave a company that is not worthy of him. He's a great man."

The football story was quickly eclipsed when Matt Drudge reported that a story that had been banging around among some of the less reputable tabloids was about to burst into the mainstream press. The story was that Rush was scoring enormous amounts of drugs for a severe dependency he had on pain killers. According to the Daily News, Rush was scoring thousands of doses of OxyContin, Lorcet and hydrocodone through his housekeeper, one Wilma Cline. She told a sensational story of Rush secretly going through detox twice, and of clandestine drug deals in the parking lot of a local Denny’s, along with a claim that Rush scored some 4,500 pain killers over a 47 day period.

Rumors about Limbaugh and drug use – especially pain killers – weren’t new. When he lost his hearing a few years back, reports circulated that the hearing loss was caused by dependency on pain killers. Limbaugh denied those reports, blaming it instead on a virus. Limbaugh, incidently, has denied the drug usage story, although the language is very stilted and legalistic, and a bit vague as to the question of whether he actually had illegal quantities of prescription drugs or not.

Right wingers, already appalled by the ABC/ESPN debacle, rose to the occasion.

"I wonder if the former housekeeper is a legal alien. DEPORT HER NOW!!!"

And of course, the fall back position for any wingnut who is stuck for an answer, the BC (But Clinton) ploy: "Remember how Clinton beat up and raped Juanita Broadrick?[sic]"

Liberals, of course, couldn’t resist getting some digs in:

"Phil" wrote,"Let's see: 1) Bush White House is under investigation for possible treason. 2) Rush Limbaugh quits ESPN in shame. 3) Rush Limbaugh is under investigation for drugs, possibly as a dealer judging by the quantities.

"Trifecta! Life is good, have a nice day :)"

One right winger snarled, "What happened to the famous liberal ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ mantra? Personally, I always thought of ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ as an AMERICAN mantra, but right wingers don’t see these things the way normal people do. The guy was also asking if liberals would show Limbaugh the same tolerance they might give such "criminals" as Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, or OJ Simpson. I figured that deserved an answer.

I wrote:

Certainly. But we are the jury, we aren't the judge, so we can have fun talking about it.

Now, you've been prattling on about "second chances" for Radio Gasbag here, and pouting and whining quite a bit, so let's pretend that charges are brought against Rush for trafficking in illegal prescription drugs, and it goes to court, and I'm the judge.

Let's assume that the charges are true, and the jury votes to convict on possession of drugs in quantity without a prescription.

I would sentence Rush to 30 days in a drug rehabilitation facility, plus a mandated six months' treatment on an outpatient basis. I would further add five years' probation, with monthly drug tests.

I wouldn't be doing it to be mean. It just that the drugs we're discussing here -- OxyContin, Vicodin, Perqs -- are all extremely addictive, and are a pure bitch to get clean from. And during the first thirty days, you're going to need a LOT of help, including people nearby who have a crash cart and know how to use it.

Limbaugh needs help if the stories are true. After he gets the help, he can give himself a second chance.

Haven’t heard back from the guy yet.

Nobody, not even the nastiest, meanest liberal in America, would wish a serious chemical dependency problem on the man.

But given how many years he spent sneering at the moral weakness of junkies and demanding ever-harsher sentences for drug use, it’s hard to feel much sympathy, either.

Compared to other stories in the news right now: Iraq, the economy, the Plame Affair (what I call "Traitorgate") and the world’s rejection of America, the two Rush stories aren’t that important.

But they are significant, in that they show the continuing cracks and weaknesses emerging throughout the American right.

As goes Rush, hopefully so goes the American neo-fascist movement.